I'm sure you know it really does only take a spark to get a fire going (did I get a tune resonating through your head now?) Just one little uncontained spark and a whole forest can burn to the ground.  Do you also realize that one little uncontained thought can erupt into a flame capable of destroying a marriage?  My pastor has often made the point that our initial thoughts are not sin; it's what we do with those thoughts once they enter our minds that can manifest into sin.  Do we "contain" them, or do we let them grow and develop into temptations that lead to sin.

One such "spark" is the temptation to view pornography. Familysafemedia.com reports that 47% of Christians say pornography is a major problem in their home.  They further report that women are far more likely than men to act on what they see.  This spark is devastating to a marriage and so many today are beginning to downplay its affects. God has provided clear boundaries for a marriage to be between one man and one woman. That unity is so sacred, it is a representation of Christ and the church. This fact categorizes pornography as blatant sin.

Pornography is destructive to the ordained purity of thought God intended between a husband and wife.  When pornography enters the marriage relationship, other persons are entering that exclusive relationship. Sexual images of other men and women should not filter through our minds. When  pornography enters a marriage, ideals are built; expectations are created and when they are not fulfilled, the temptation grows to have them fulfilled outside the marriage relationship. I have seen the damaging affects of pornography on fellow Christian sisters whose husbands are viewing pornography within the marriage. These women feel degraded by and undesirable to their husbands, who have generated a distorted view of God's plan and purpose for sex.  God 's perfect design is for our sexual thoughts and expectations to be complete in our marriage partners.

Another spark is the uncontained thoughts about another man. Again, too often what starts as just a spark, grows into so much more.  Remember, "The enemy prowls around like a hungry lion, seeking whom he can devour" (1 Peter5:8). When we give him the opportunity to get a hold on us, he doesn't easily release. Satan can take an uncontained, wandering thought that we brush off as "innocent" and devour our marriages when we let that thought develop into a dwelling of our minds, or perhaps an action that follows the thought.  I heard one Christian author candidly share about her temptation in this area. Her story, too, started with a spark - a brief thought about another man, in her church.  However, she did not contain the spark - the thought. It grew into a potentially damaging fire to her marriage.  In her case, resolution was found and God's merciful healing took place in her marriage. If only the spark was contained initially. We would save ourselves and our loved ones so much heart ache.

Some sparks aren't quite so colorful, but still as damaging. One that I think all of us are likely to encounter at some point in our marriages is dwelling in negativity. I have caught myself, at times, letting my mind wonder into all the things that annoy or frustrate me about my spouse until I am knowingly feeling and displaying that anger and resentment toward him. He's wondering why I am snippy and I am unaware of snippiness, until I reflect on where my mind's been dwelling. Had I contained my negativity and began dwelling on my husband's positive qualities, praising the Lord for the blessings in my life, reflecting on scripture, etc., the sin of my anger would not have manifested.

Uncontained thoughts lead to forest fires. Some forest fires grow so large, they cannot be stopped - the damage just has to be evaluated at the end. If we could only get a handle on our sparks. There are so many I have not mentioned. We all will encounter some area of temptation. It's our choice whether it overtakes us or we contain it before it becomes sin. If you are experiencing a struggle with any of the above areas and you feel unable to contain them, please seek professional counsel or help. Don't let the enemy feed you lies about embarrassment or guilt. Seek help. God is forgiving and merciful and has great plans for our marriages. Let Him control and bring containment. 

~ Angie Maldonado is a home schooling mom of two girls (ages 4 and 6) and an Army wife. She and her family currently reside in Fort Benning, Georgia. Her greatest goal in life is to leave a remarkable spiritual legacy to her two girls and to see them mature with hearts to serve the Lord. She enjoys crafting, decorating, reading, and of course, writing. Angie has experienced the renovating power of the Lord at work in her marriage, and considers it a great blessing to use what she has learned to help build other women in their faith. She is working on her first book dedicated to encouraging women to let their lights shine for the Lord Jesus.