My 12-year-old has a habit of walking up to me while I'm reading or working on the computer and immediately jumping in to the middle of what happened at youth group the night before.  The topic is deeply meaningful to her, because she has just become old enough to attend.

Unfortunately, my mind is still elsewhere.  "Uh-huh," I reply.

"You're not listening!" she cries.

"Just give me a minute," I respond, finish my sentence, and turn away from the work to look her in the eye. "Okay. You have my whole attention now."

And she spills her guts.

At other times, I find my son pacing around the house. There's something on his mind, this means.  Sometimes he will blurt it out.  Other times he's close-mouthed.

"Let's go for a walk," I say.  He happily complies.  Within seconds his tongue loosens and he talks for a half mile.

The topic is not always of interest to me.  Many times he talks of the imaginary spaceship he's building on his computer.  Other times he questions the limits of science.  Or he will ask me about something of ancient history which he has recently learned but which I know nothing about.

I wait. I listen.  I try to follow in the areas that I have no knowledge or no interest.  But after awhile, the conversation turns to other areas: What his youth leader said to him last week.  A struggle he's having with peer pressure. What he thinks God is teaching him.

And then we have that deeper conversation that builds our relationship and encourages us both.

It all starts with one simple thing: Listening.

Listening, even when we are busy.

Listening, even when other things seem more urgent.

Listening, even when the topic seems silly or trivial.

Listening, because it is how we say, "I love you. You are important.  What matters to you matters to me." 

As the children grow through adolescence and into adulthood, it is my strong desire to keep listening.

Some day, when they move out and no longer need my parental care, I hope they will continue to share with me what's on their minds.  And I'll listen.

And - oh, excuse me. I must stop now.  The phone is ringing - it's my college student calling home with an update on her life.

~ Ginia Dible writes on many topics of interest to parents: personalized adventure novels for elementary readers; tips to keep kids reading; how to prepare your student to win college scholarships.  More information at www.ginia.name.