While You're Waiting ~ By Angie Maldonado

Our God is a God of order.  When you study how carefully He orchestrated the days of creation; His detailed instructions for Noah and the ark - male and female of every species independently entering the massive ship; His chosen Gideon defeating the feared Midianites with the carefully weeded out 300 weaponless soldiers; it is easy to see He has a perfect providential plan for all of life.  This is true of our households as well.  God has a perfect order and plan for us, established from the beginning of time.

The familiar Ephesians 5 speaks of the Lord's plan for the husband as the head of his household.  Ephesians 6 and several passages in Proverbs and Deuteronomy indicate the man's role as the spiritual trainer in his home.  Although this is God's ordained order for our homes, for various reasons this order is not always followed. I have observed a couple of different scenarios where this is true.  In some homes, while the husband may be a believer, the wife may have a more spiritually advanced background.  This can sometimes create a situation generating insecurities in the man causing him to shy away from his spiritual headship.  Other times, the wife with the spiritual background may simply have deeper convictions that she lives out in her spiritual role within the family; she may be more inclined to lead her children spiritually, initiate prayer within the home, etc.

In some relationships it is just a matter of personality types.  A more introverted husband may be less inclined to openness in his spirituality within the home.  Sadly, it is often an issue of spiritual laziness.  The husband is able, but not willing to instruct his family in the ways of the Lord.  Still another scenario is when the man of the house is not a Christian.  In such cases, the wife may have no choice but to rise to that spiritual leadership.

So what do Christian women do when the men of their homes do not rise to the spiritual headship to which they are called?  This is such a difficult battle to endure on a daily basis.  A woman who knows and loves the Lord and His ways longs deeply for her husband to join her and her family on the path to spiritual growth.  It can be agonizing to know God's plan for your home and have no control over its fulfillment.  If this is your case, know that I am praying for you and I want to offer you some Biblical hope for your situation.  I want to provide some answers for you from the Word of Truth on how you can remain obedient to the Lord while you are waiting for His plan for your family to be fulfilled.  

Let's begin in 1 Peter 3 (please read verses 1 through 6).  This whole portion of scripture addresses the issue of a wife with an unbelieving husband, but I believe we can extend some of these truths to those with believing husbands as well.  First, within verses 1 through 6, I think we can conclude that an attitude of humility and gentleness is going to find more favor in God's sight than one of nagging and complaining.  If we could ever justify our "right" to complain to our husbands about something, I think this topic would rank right up there.  But in the eyes of Christ, we need to give up that right don't we?  You might be asking how you can possibly do this.  My answer is, you can't.  Not nice, huh?  Well, let me further say, you, in your flesh, can't do it.  You, prayerfully by the power of the Holy Spirit, can do it.

Another piece of wisdom to glean from this passage is where your hope should lie - in God.  (see vs. 5).  Too often, we measure whether something is in the realm of possibility or not by our own human standards and abilities.  We think our husbands will never rise to spiritual leadership in our homes and rattle off a list of reasons why not.  The Lord wants us to take that list, crumple it up and toss it in the wood stove.  That list of reasons may actually be so, if we are placing our hope in another human being - our husbands.  These verses instruct us to place our hope in "the God who performs miracles" (Ps. 77:14).

Finally, I want to leave you with the truth that God wants His order in your home, so that you can rest assured that you are praying in His Will when you lift this request up to Him.  The Lord is at work when we don't see.  Spiritual battles are being fought while you pray.  Don't stop praying His Will.  Don't stop believing in the God of miracles.  I have probably shared with you before that in the renovating period of my own marriage the Lord told me to stop nagging my husband about certain things and bring those concerns to Him in prayer.  I obeyed and He began to answer those prayers in very specific ways.  As you are dealing with this issue in your marriage, know that God wants you to remain true to your faith and relationship with Him, despite what your husband is or is not doing.  I encourage you to be strong in the Lord while you are waiting.

~ Angie Maldonado is a home schooling mom of two girls (ages 5 and 7) and an Army wife. She and her family currently reside in Fort Benning, Georgia. Her greatest goal in life is to leave a remarkable spiritual legacy to her two girls and to see them mature with hearts to serve the Lord. She enjoys crafting, decorating, reading and of course, writing. Angie has experienced the renovating power of the Lord at work in her marriage, and considers it a great blessing to use what she has learned to help build other women in their faith. She is awaiting publishing of her first book dedicated to encouraging women to let their lights shine for the Lord Jesus.