Freedom To Feel ~ By Dionna Sanchez

For any of us who have more than one child, we deal with squabbles, misunderstandings, fights, irritations, frustrations, and more between siblings.  It can be weary on the soul to encounter these when we just want our children to get along and love, respect, honor, and admire one another.  A lot of advice is given as to how to settle these disagreements and small feuds... but I want to offer a different perspective, and that is the perspective to try and not get involved at all.

A family is a place where we need to accept, love, and nurture one another.   Accepting one another doesn't just mean accepting each other when we're feeling all good and lovey towards one another.  It means giving one another the freedom to feel.

Our children are not going to always agree with one another.  They can't even get passionate about their feelings and stance (especially as they get older!) But that does not mean that they don't respect one another.  It simply means they are different!  God created each one of us to be different - it's okay.  We can't all conform and think alike or act alike.  There needs to be space given and allowed for feelings to be expressed.

I have found that sometimes when I stay out of "issues" between my children, that they solve them on their own in a quicker and much better manner than I could have done.  If I get involved, sometimes it just creates more resentment towards one of the siblings as well as towards me.  Of course there are times where I must get involved.  But on the whole, as my children get older - I am finding that it is better if I don't bring myself into some of their grievances towards each other.

Families cannot be happy all of the time.  Any family that acts this way is probably masking differences, which will only come to surface later in a stronger way.  If we truly want to be a happy and harmonious family on the whole - we need to let there be disagreements, and misunderstandings.  If expressed in a healthy way, these differences will be able to be dealt with, and can heal in a much healthier manner than if they are squelched because everyone is made to feel that they have to get along all of the time.

No one likes fighting or nit picking on each other.  So please hear me when I say that I am not condoning this in any way. But I am saying that when it does occur (and it will!) that it be allowed a healthy freedom to be dealt with by those involved in the disturbance.  We can mean well, but sometimes as a mom, we are just plain butting our nose in.

If you truly want the family you dream of, the one where everyone thinks each other is great.... you need to allow there to be differences.  Being different and thinking different is not a bad thing and it's not a way of rejecting each other.  It's good to remember that.  It's simply a way of being ourselves.

~ Dionna Sanchez learns daily new lessons from her children.  She loves being a mom from her home in Idaho and you can read more of her thoughts through her blog at: http://emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com